The Empire of North Valeria is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dystopian Emperor Rick Sanchez with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate population of 10.795 billion North Valerians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galveria. The average income tax rate is 45.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient North Valerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,909 trillion Phoenixes a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 176,920 Phoenixes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded, immigrants who don't like the taste of North Valerian Turnip Chips are immediately deported, going on a diet invalidates your passport, and court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. North Valeria's national animal is the Groot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Daoism.

North Valeria is ranked 28,272^nd in the world and 173^rd in The Communist Bloc for Most Patriotic, with 39.77 flags saluted per person per day.